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Wednesday, April 16, 2014

The Bionic Man!

Many of you may have noticed I've been absent from the gym for some time.  Unfortunately, I sprained the MCL (Medial Collarteral Ligament) on my right knee a few Wednesdays ago.  After all the surgeries/injuries I've experienced, you would think that I'm like the Bionic Man and need no repairing.  Alas, no such thing as of yet... but the great news is that this is something I can/will heal from fairly soon.

Problem was my orthopedic surgeon couldn't see me for almost 7 days, so I spent each day on crutches in quite a bit of pain.  The Friday night before ReALLIEty Laura and I headed to Lake Charles to avoid a long drive Saturday morning, and the pain hit about 11:30pm, which required a trip to the Lake Charles Memorial ER.  All the Doc could do was load me up with painkillers.  So I ate those fuckers like candy!

Here is my knee on the subsequent Sunday evening...


A good bit swollen, but the fluid continued to build.  Here is my knee on the Monday evening...


I was in so much pain by Tuesday, that moving my entire leg in any fashion was painful.  I know, I know... I sound like a pussy crying about a little knee sprain, right?  Well, as my orthopedic surgeon began to remove fluid from my knee, he quickly asked Laura to leave our room and fetch a second needle from the nurses station, which surprised all of us!  As he was finishing, he said it was the most fluid he's taken from a knee in quite some time.  Check the full needle in the background...


Where does this leave me?  I have a month of physical therapy, but I'm back at HIT already.  I will only participate in exercises that don't strain my knee until my therapist issues me full clearance.

In other news, my fat is melting.  Yes, I'm loosing quickly, with my biggest weight loss in quite a few weeks coming during the week I was on crutches.  Go figure!  I was extremely diligent with my diet, and even cut back on fruit in the evening as to not take in too much sugar, but I can't really pinpoint the root cause.  Could be the shock of not working out may have thrown my body into a different gear.  Anyhow, I weighed 257 the day after ReALLIEty, and weighed 252 this past Saturday!  Here are a few comparison pics for y'all...



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Holy Shit, I'm a Sexy Beast, huh?  There are some noticeable changes in the above images, but my clothes is where I'm seeing leaps and bounds!  I've gone from a 40 waist to a 36 waist, and was actually able to wear an XL today!  After seeing Joey's progress, I'm starting to realize my 100lb weight loss is not only possible, but it will happen before my year anniversary at HIT!  I need to reach 186lbs by the second week of February 2015.

Lastly, here are a few food pics from the weekend.  Still can't get enough of the wild caught salmon at Fresh Market!  This recipe is simple... Take roasted pumpkin seeds and crush/chop/beat them into crumbs.  Combine them with a tablespoon of grape-seed oil, some pink Himalayan salt, lemon & lime juice, minced garlic, freshly cracked black pepper, and stir.  Once it is mixed well, smear it on top of the salmon and bake for 10 minutes at 500 degrees.





We add brussels sprouts for this week as the veggie!

That's all folks... see you at the gym!

Saturday, April 5, 2014

ReAlliety Beasts!

Our HIT Team competed at the REALLIETY CHALLENGE today, and it was nothing less than spectacular!  Many of our own (including H.J. himself) were at the front of the pack, but at the end of the day everyone did an AMAZING job, and I look forward to it next year (as a participant hopefully).

Here are a few images...




Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Chez Meaux a la H.I.T.

I'm hungry.  Yup... I'm hungry right now, and will probably still be hungry when you read this lovely blog!  I didn't get to almost 290lbs by not being hungry!  Ha.  Sure, everyone deals with hunger in different ways, and for me it has always been to eat until I was full, but as I continue on my HIT journey, the time I want to eat most is after 7:30pm.  H.J. emphatically states that is not allowed, so how do I deal with hunger cravings at 10:00pm?  I decide to blog about food!

All kidding aside, I thought some of you may want to see our "process" of setting up our meals.  I know I'm risking credibility with some of you since the below pictures may be slightly anal, but at the end of the day it is a process that helps me stay on track during the week.

Fish is king for me when selecting protein.  I don't care to eat store-bought chicken since it's full of chemicals and bacteria, grass-fed beef (especially from Acadiana) is a little high in fat, and since it is Lenten season, wild-caught fish is currently selling at low prices!



So, I usually whip up some form of basting sauce which includes lemon/lime juice, spices, small amount of grape-seed oil, capers, roasted/dried red pepper, and a little bit of vinegar.  I will often marinate the fish for 15-30 minutes, then bake in a high temp oven.  One of my secrets is that I undercook the fish slightly so it is still moist and cooks a bit when you nuke it at the office.  Once cooked, I toss it into some tupperware with one of our weekly veggie choices.



After letting them cool, we stuff them into our fridge along side hummus, salsa, raw veggies, cut/washed strawberries, grapes, spinach, jicama, etc.  As we leave the house for work/daycare/school, it is much easier to grab a few tupperware containers and some pre-washed fruit for the day.  At least for me, this helps me from straying into restaurants where I don't belong.

For breakfast I have the same thing every morning.  2 cups of frozen berries, 2-3 cups of unsweetened almond milk, 1 frozen banana, 1 scoop of protein powder from the HIT Store, and a tablespoon of almond butter.  I'm really proud of this image because my smoothie cup is from Hubig's Pies... ohh, the sweet irony!



If you like eggs, then you MUST try H.J.'s recipe for Healthy Deviled Eggs...

  • 4 eggs
  • 1/2 avocado
  • 1 tbsp of cilantro
  • Juice of half a lime
  • Tablespoon of plain Greek yogurt
  • Salt & pepper
  • Paprika
Laura made these, and they rocked!


Lastly, I will leave you with a pic I sent to HJ over the weekend.  As everyone knows, he gets over 150 texts/day, so I didn't expect him to respond quickly, but when he saw this, I got a response immediately!  Of course I was just playing around... didn't touch the cookie cake (which is my favorite), or have any alcohol.



See you guys on the flip-side, and oh yeah... I've reached the 250s!  259.8 to be exact, but who's counting, right?  2lbs lost last week... excited to hop on the scale this weekend, especially after attending my first 2-workout day!

Later Gators

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

King of the "Hill"

Hmmm hmmm... been hearing all kinds of smack about the dreaded "Hill" lately.  Tired of all the complaining people!  I'm sure some of you are already scoffing at your phone/screen while simultaneously muttering "Fucking Newbie" under your breath... right?

Well, slow your roll HIT Nation.  We aren't internationally known athletes, but neither are we quitters!  Planks, ropes, bear crawls, burpees, the "Hill"... all that shit's the same.  Why?  Because we will all push through and come out on the other side stronger, faster, fit, lean, mean HIT machines!

All the while, H.J. will push us when needed, and be our compass when our bearings shift.  Sure, he knows the "Hill" may be tougher than many of our "normal" workouts, but he also knows WE. WILL. NOT. QUIT!  So H... bring on the hill my Baw.

Maybe the "Hill" will help melt more of this spare tire I'm carrying around my waist.  Here are some updated pictures for you freaky types.  I'm still shedding them L.B.s... down to 264lbs as of Saturday so I'm hoping for a big week.  Maybe the 250s are right around the corner.







I don't see much difference from last month's images, but I feel quite a few changes...
  1. I've been wearing size 40 waist jeans/pants, and I know have quite a few 38s that are somewhat loose, and I can actually fit into a select few 36s.  (I'm kinda like a pumpkin on a toothpick... big on top, skinny legs, and no ass, which is why my jeans are so small considering my girth)
  2. I'm pulling out belts from the back of the closet since mine are starting to have absolutely no tension when tightened all the way to the last hole.
  3. I'm able to wear shirts that have been on the hanger for the better part of 18 months.
  4. Even my children notice that I'm walking better!
  5. Feel great, feel motivated, feel like all the right people are in my corner!
Alright, here is a little tip from H.J. on the perils of PB2 (for those that buy/consume this product).

Ciao


Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Les Miserables a la HIT w/ H.J.

Phew... tonight's class definitely ranked at the top of my most hated workouts inside the HIT "Dome."  I know for a fact that I'm not alone in this assessment, for there were many "miserable ones" sweating it out tonight!  But hey... that's kinda the point, right?  At least that's what I was telling myself until Joey had start talking about the hill.  My obvious response was, "What is this hill you speak of Tall One?"  Joey merely chuckled and said "Ask H.J.  He is gonna grin and tell you not to worry about it."  For fuck's sake I don't wanna meet the "Hill."  I'll close this topic by stating here, on a public forum, that if the "Hill" involves those damn cards, H.J. is gonna have to contend with some serious Penn & Teller magic shit!

Anyhow, Saturday morning was a smack in the face since I couldn't walk properly for almost a half our after getting out of bed.   A few years back I had an L5-S1 discectomy (removal of the disc between the vertebrae), and it was screaming for some serious attention. We had to cancel a few plans so I could stretch non stop for quite a while.  Here's our lovely daughter Sophia lending a hand...



After this gloomy start to our weekend, I have to say that I was quickly uplifted when I hopped onto the scale to see a 4(+)lb loss!  Now weighing 266.2 lbs, so I am officially 20lbs down after 5 weeks of HIT!  Only 80lbs to go!

Monday was also sketchy since I woke up with an aching knee.  I can't even begin to tell you how much I long for the Bionic Man to become reality... Ha!  But fret not... H.J. was able to work the kinks out with some serious sweat during his "Back to the Basics" workout.  I was able to bang out quite a few pushups at a time, which is an amazing personal feat for me, especially since I couldn't do a proper pushup on day 1 with H.J.  I lost count after 30 because capacity for math leaks out of my ears when I'm under physical stress, but none the less, I'm proud!  I also knocked out 16 burpees in my minute... same thing here... couldn't even do 1 at the beginning!

Tuesday improved exponentially since I was able to workout with my lovely bride (Laura) at HIT for the first time.  She is a morning regular, but had to miss so we attended an evening workout as a dynamic duo.  After witnessing me push myself, she said she hasn't seen me move like that in years!  Of course I gave her a wink, a sly smile, and a "naughty" reply.

Lastly, I will leave you with a few images of the shitty food I'm surrounded by at work.  It's unrelenting... EVERY. DAMN. MORNING. Some salesman waltzes into our office like he owns the place with arms full of junk food.  They usually set the food down, and like homing pigeons, employees surface immediately only to leave with an arm-full of crap.


I mean, who doesn't love warm kolaches and a crossan'wich the size of your head?  Even before I stepped into HIT, I stopped eating off the kitchen table at work since the middle of January, so I've developed an odd sort of immunity to this "poison."  Sometimes I even take it a step further... check out his picture from today...


As if the carbs you ingest from the rice in the boudin pictured here (both pork & crawfish boudin for those who may be wondering about the different colors) isn't enough, these effing salesmen bring fresh evangeline maid loaves of bread for boudin sandwiches.  So, today I stood next to this table while eating my mid-morning snack (raw broccoli with hummus).  As the "sheeple"  turned the corner and approached the table like Pavlov's Dogs, I would say "Hey, how many fat grams are pooled up in that orange grease puddle there?"  Now I know that a healthy-eating fat guy is kinda like the ex-smoker who just quit and is yelling "You stink" at all the other smokers he used to share lighters with the previous week, but it's all in fun.  Gotta start preaching the HIT gospel to the masses!

Alright chickens, I'll leave you with my Hummus recipe...



Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Wicked Tuna!

Part of my daily struggle from as far back as I can remember has been choosing what to eat.  For me, sweets are king.  I can eat a full dozen of Meche's doughnuts quicker than 3 cops on a stakeout!  Once, I conquered a steak challenge-- "The Coach Pizz Special," which was a 46oz steak, large dinner salad, baked potato, and two rolls... all in just 26 minutes!  Yup, I was that guy!

I also have a little bit of culinary experience, so I'm handy in the kitchen (and with a chef's knife).  So, we like to be creative at home when it comes to finding healthy meals/snacks, but sometimes I simply like recreating dishes from my favorite restaurants, like the Sunflower appetizer from Tsunami.  Here is the "Meaux Muscle" version with a little spin...



I start this dish out with high-quality tuna.  This tuna was caught by a friend, but when I shop in the market, I prefer the darkest/reddest tuna available, which is often wild-caught.  Process starts with...


  1. Pat fish dry
  2. Season well on both sides (I often like a blend for tuna)
  3. Use a non-stick pan/pot (If not available, use a small amount of grape-seed oil to coat the bottom)
  4. Heat pan/pot to Medium High, and place tuna steak(s) in pan/pot when ready.
  5. For this appetizer, it will only take a few minutes... like literally 2 minutes per side, if that.  So, watch your steak closely.
  6. Once you've seared the tuna to desired temperature, let it rest for 5 minutes
While your tuna rests, prepare the below sauce...

  1. Add 1/2 to 3/4 cup of Ponzu Sauce into a small mixing bowl.
  2. Next, add 1 TBS of Sambal.
  3. Next, add 1 TBS of Siracha.
  4. Finally, add a few slices of jalapenos for some kick!
  5. Whisk all ingredients together.
Once tuna steak has cooled, slice across the grain like this example, and pour sauce over sliced tuna!  This literally takes less than 5 minutes.

Voila... C'est Bon!

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Look at Dat Horseshoe Ma' Baw!

During one of our HIT workouts in the past week, we had to do some triceps work -- tricep kickbacks maybe?  Anyhow, HJ kept telling me to hold it for a second during the extension, then he would randomly yell "Like a horseshoe!"

I truly had no idea what he was trying to tell me, so I figured he wanted me to explode into my extension, much like a horse would kick...?

Well, after 3 rounds of "horse-kicking" I finally spit out my question between sucking air... "What do you mean about the horseshoe?"  Even though it is known that HJ is a beast, I find him to be fairly modest, so I was surprised when he raised the sleeve on his right arm, flexed his tricep, and said "Horseshoe, man" and gave me a sly grin with that all-to-familiar HJ wink.

Here is a "Horseshoe"

My horseshoe is covered up with a large dose of adipose tissue at the moment, but I'm gonna try to get one of them there "shoes" in the near future.  Here is my starting point... what about yours?


Saturday, March 1, 2014

A Weekend Warrior Soliloquy

Ahhhh.... The infamous Saturday HIT workout is over!  As we began our stretching I told HJ "Thank you," and he replied, after a short pause, "Why?"  I answered "because of what you are about to do to us."  Sure, there was a light bit of comic relief, but underneath the fat, underneath all the things Dr's said I'd never do again, underneath the shame of letting my body get this way, I knew today's workout was yet another monumental step in the direction of climbing out of the darkness.



Thank you HJ... nothing like giving this endeavor my all just to hear you whisper "I'm not gonna leave you behind" truly lets me know there's someone in my corner as I begin to climb this mountain.

It is also humbling to hear multiple people give words of encouragement to me as I meandered through the Saturday course.  My goal was not to be last, which I was, but I think I accomplished quite a feat by going the extra mile and showing up this morning after a tough week at HIT.

Lastly,  I have lost weight this week... FINALLY!  I am now 270.8lbs.  Three pounds lost in one week... I"ll take it!  Have a great weekend peeps!

I am going to leave you with Sohpia's last exercise today, which she learned from HJ... I think he will approve!

video


Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Scales of Justice

It was football practice in the 9th grade... that was the first time I was truly cognizant of of my weight.  The scale showed 215, and coach promptly wrote 235 on the media sheet!  One of the few times it was cool to weigh more than you wanted.





Fast forward to the last month, I've been using my scale on a daily basis... every morning!  That's right, I get out of bed, pee, strip down to my birthday suit, and hop on the scale.  After a month of dieting, and 4 weeks of HIT, the scale has barely moved.  Sure, I know I'm building muscle and my clothes will start getting loose... blah, blah, blah... bullshit!  My clothes feel exactly the same, and below are my daily weights before Humane Jedi had my wife hide the damn scale...

2/4 = 277
2/5 = 276
2/6 = 276
2/7 = 275
2/8 = 274
2/9 = 273
2/11 = 272
2/14 = 273
2/15 = 272
2/17 = 277
2/19 = 273
2/20 = 273
2/21 = 273
2/22 = 272
2/23 = 275
2/24 = Scale disappeared

These don't represent each and every day, but it's fairly close.  So, the last three weeks basically show no change, and I'm having a hard time reconciling that in my mind.  Many people at HIT have said to ignore the scale, but when I think about it, each one of those people are thin, and don't have a body fat percentage that even reaches what I have in my left leg.  How do you all feel about the scale, when it refuses to fucking move?  I'm not cheating on my diet, I don't drink sodas, and I give HJ my all each workout.  When is this crappy fat gonna start to melt?  If it doesn't start falling off soon, I'm gonna start working out at HIT in a "sauna suit."




In a slightly related topic, I have recently decided to move from a slow carb diet to HJ's diet so if you have any favorite concoctions based on his parameters, send them my way!  I know that it takes a lot of effort to submit recipes, so I'm stepping up to the plate with the first one, which is listed below, complete with pictures.

Pimenton Broccoli

1.  Start by cleaning and cutting the broccoli into manageable chunks.


2.  Steam to your desired level of crispness... Laura and I usually like broccoli bright green and crunchy, which tastes much better than soggy broccoli, but ultimately it's up to you.

3.  Next you need to add some Pimenton (pictured below).  We prefer the "hot" style since we love spicy food, but go slow with it for your first time until you learn how to gauge the spice level.  This spice is extremely smoky, which gives off an amazing taste, and aroma.

4.  Last step is to add some kosher salt, and a small amount of olive oil, toss, and serve!

Give it a try, and let me know what you think!








Tuesday, February 25, 2014

It's All in the Shoes!

Awww yeah-yuh! Was able to pimp some new kicks during class today. Unfortunately, I forgot my shoes at home, and showed up at HIT with nothing but clothes and a desire to train.  Must be something in the water, since I was the second person to do so in 2 days.


HJ, in his infinite compassion and commitment to his students, promptly walked to his car to retrieve an extra pair of shoes and gave me the ones off his feet.  To all HIT comedians, and comediennes, please refrain from all the "now you've walked in HJ's shoes" jokes cause that is a cheap joke, and we all know that I rock that shit much better!  ZING!




This brings me to his name... HJ will be proud to know that due to his actions, I am retiring his previous moniker (Hammer Jock), and we will now be referring to him as Humane Jedi!   He does have the "force" and he has this odd, new wave, nurturing soul... kinda like Obi-Wan Kenobi.


Now on to that class today... sheeeet!  I was so close to saying how easy it was after the first round, but then, during round two, I felt like I was moving in mud.  I clicked my heels three times while saying "There's no place like HIT," but my new Humane Jedi kicks didn't offer any boost.  So then I just acted like I was prepping for the mud portions of the ReAlliety Challenge (get the code from HF and click this link to sign up!), which kinda worked when I was able to breathe.


Next Amazon order we place, I'm gonna score some of those rebook pumps... I know you boys are old enough to remember that shit, right?  I'll be unstoppable!  When HJ has us catch a quick circle... I'll just get me a little "squish" "squish" for ankle support and then it's off to the races!



Friday, February 21, 2014

BUCK FURPEES

Ummm Hmmm... I know everybody had a little bit of that sinking feeling today when Hammer Jock (Get it?... HJ) threw out that "Alright, 25 FULL burpees" bullshit at the end of class. Most of you probably think this is gonna suck a bit, while I started to hyperventillate! I can't do a proper burpee yet ("yet" being the operative word), so I wasn't sure how this was going to play out for me. Knees still don't properly bend, and my ankles/feet/toes are so jacked that throwing my feet out into that full extension feels just like that time you walked through your house in the dark and accidently kicked something... barefooted!


So earlier in the week, "Hammer Jock" wasn't sure if I could make a "circle" so he offered me the option of pedaling on the stationary bike in lieu of running. I angrily responded "You're not cheating me out of my run" as snot was bubbling on the tip of my nose... and he didn't cause I completed the run.


 Fast forward to this morning's burpee dilema. I begin burpee #1 by getting down on the ground and "walking out" my legs into a full, extended push up position. I did the push up and here's where things get interesting. Since my knees feel like rusty hinges, I have to list my weight to my right side, then straighten my left leg out to the left, shimmy my weight back to normal, and walk into a V potision with my hands, ending in the standing position using mostly my back muscles aided by a push off the floor from my hands. So, imagine how I felt as I was getting to #3, and people were yelling out 12, 16, 9. Holy Shitballs I was freaking out! I thought Hammer Jock would tell me to stop at 10-15 reps, but then he asked "Hey J, is that 16?" and I replied, "No, 15" as he simply nodded his head and walked away. He then told the rest of the class to "make a circle" as I continued to contort my body in different ways searching for a quicker way to finish. And then I remember my "You're not cheating me out of my run" comment from earlier in the week, and I knew HJ was expecting no less of me this go-round. So I sucked that shit up, and finished my fucking burpees.. all 25 no less,     hence the title of this post! I felt like I gave an excellent effort, and surpassed what I thought was possible today, so thanks to Hammer Jock, and I'm gonna give myself a small pat on the shoulder as well.


Lastly, please ensure you give way to cyclists on our great (sarcasm intended)Louisiana roads. It is law that you give them 3-feet of cusion when you drive around them. I usually don't have to worry about being hit (no pun intended Hammer Jock) due to my large rotund shape, but I will be hitting the pavement this weekend and want to ride safely with my boy Mark Miller! Enjoy your weekend, and good luck to the HIT Chicks on the Color Run!

Thursday, February 20, 2014

The "Before" Pictures Everyone Takes...

So H.J. told me that I needed to get some pictures to him soon, so he will be able to show people my fat pics 6 months down the road. Ha! Well, I had the nifty idea that I would put on Laura's "HIT Girls" shirt she will be wearing this weekend for the Color Run. Yeah... a little tight, no?
Her expression was one of immediate laughter, which instantly turned to horrifying panic as she said, "NO!... NO!... STOP!.... You're gonna stretch my shirt!" Needless to say, it was quite hard to keep her focused enough to snap some pics in the hallway since I'm sure she was imagining having to run her weekend race in a size Large. Thankfully, Chelle ordered a superior stretch fabric that sucked all the threads back into place. Phew... Here are my real pictures... 273lbs full. I started at 285.6lbs, and lost 10lbs almost instantly, but I've been in a holding pattern for going on 11 days. Didn't expect a plateau so soon... I know that I shouldn't worry about weight, and I'm gaining muscle, and blah, blah, blah, blah. This fucking scale better come correct soon, or I'm gonna toss it out the window!